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The Vinyl Anachronist: The Art of Surface Noise

By Marc Phillips

June 2006

Nitty Gritty record cleaning machines are used by three AudioEnz writers

The Vinyl Anachronist has taken a liking to the Disc Doctor's latest cleaning solution

The VPI 16.5 is another popular vacuum record cleaning machine

It’s the bane of all vinyl lovers, the number one reason why most people say they abandoned the format in the first place… those darned pops and clicks that seem to afflict almost every LP we own. You can complain about inner-groove distortion, you can lament about worn styli, and you can sing the wow-and-flutter blues. But it’s surface noise that drove the masses toward the cold, sterile digital frontier.

It’s been the basis of my caveat about the superiority of vinyl from the very beginning. In order to come to the conclusion that LPs sound better than CDs, you must do two things. You must buy a decent turntable, and you must take care of your records. Twice before I have talked specifically about record care, about proper storage and handling of LPs, and about using record cleaning machines and picking the best cleaning fluids. But I read something quite alarming in a recent issue of Stereophile, something that made me experience a small twinge of despair.

In the recent review of Continuum’s awesome $90,000 Caliburn turntable, the subject of its hard platter came up, and Michael Fremer did warn his readers that it was of paramount importance to keep the platter absolutely clean, because clamping down an LP to a dusty platter could cause the dust to become permanently embedded in the record grooves. I don’t know about you, but my gut reaction was oh, great, one more thing for neurotic LP spinners to worry about. I immediately glanced over at my Michell Orbe SE ‘table, and touched the surface of the large lead and acrylic platter. Pretty hard, I thought. And I’m fairly lax about using the dust cover, choosing instead to hit the ‘table every few days with a can of compressed air instead.

They’re coming to take me away, ha ha!

So have I slowly been ruining my record collection, LP by LP? I don’t want to think about it. Generally I’m blessed with a collection that’s chock full of mint, pristine pressings. For instance, I have a UK Parlophone stereo pressing of Sgt. Pepper’s that I received as a present for my fifteenth birthday. It’s been played at least a hundred times over the years, and I still cannot hear a single pop or tick on either side. I also own a garden-variety pressing of Thomas Dolby’s The Flat Earth that I’ve used countless times as a reference disc for auditioning new equipment. It’s a very dynamic-sounding record, with gobs of complex detail, and again, there are virtually no signs of wear after at least a hundred spins. And there are dozens of others I can think of off the top of my head.

But how long will this last? It seems that the health of our vinyl collections is precarious at best. Think of all the little things that can mar one of your favorite LPs, such as a worn or damaged stylus (do you check your needle with a magnifying glass before each play?), or improper cuing (do you always use the cuing lever of your turntable every single time?), or careless handling (do you put away every single LP immediately after you’re done with it, or, like me, do you leave it in a mini-pile to be filed later?).

I recall one horror story that I’ve told before, but it bears repeating. I once visited another audiophile at his home because he boasted about his fabulous record collection and his remarkable turntable (a VPI TNT with a Lyra Helikon cartridge). Over in the corner was a pile of unfiled LPs, a jumbled mess of sleeves, covers, liner notes, and naked, unprotected vinyl. And sure enough, one LP was laying flat on the carpet, and was covered with a yellowy substance that led me to believe that his cat didn’t really hold a high opinion of that particular King Crimson pressing. Talk about despair.

The lunatics have taken over the asylum!

Over the last couple of years, I’ve realized that while many people consider me to be insane when it comes to basic record care, there are many others much worse than me. I’ve read countless descriptions of meticulous procedures concerning hand-washing and drying. I’ve seen countless debates over homebrew cleaning solutions, and whether or not alcohol should be an ingredient (I agree with Duane Goldman, the notorious Disc Doctor, that it shouldn’t). I’ve been schooled on the importance of replacing all of your record sleeves with the proper rice sleeves (no more paper sleeves ever!). I’ve even been told that I need to use an Orbitrac, and then use a VPI 16.5, and then an after-rinse with thrice-distilled water. And I know many of you have read with disbelief about Michael Fremer’s adventures with a very expensive and very finicky reverse-osmosis filter.

So where does it all end? To tell the truth, I think I’ve found the answer, as most of you probably have, too. First of all, I’ve found it almost impossible to part with my twenty-year-old Nitty Gritty 2.0 record cleaning machine. I’ve had this thing so long that I recently realized that it’s probably one of the first few machines Nitty Gritty made! Sure, I’ve replaced more than a few parts on it over the years, and the whole thing seems to be held together with band-aids at this point, but man oh man, does it ever work the way I want it to work. I’ve used and compared the VPI 16.5 over the last couple of years, and I like it, but the Nitty Gritty is an old reliable friend, and I can’t see switching in the near future. In fact, if my 2.0 does evaporate into dust one day, I’d probably just replace it with another one, or maybe even one of them there new-fangled automatic Nitty Gritty models like the 2.5 or even the Mini-Pro, which can clean both sides at once.

As far as record brushes go, I’m totally in love with the Disc Doctor’s LP brushes, which is used instead of the stock Nitty Gritty brushes, because they are substantial, easy to hold, and they seem to scrub the dirt out better than any other brush I’ve used. I still use the Nitty Gritty brush, however, as a dry brush for use in between cleanings. Yes, you heard me right…I do not believe that you have to wet clean a record before every play. If you’re storing your records properly, there probably isn’t a real reason to waste some of your $154-per-bottle L’Art du Son record cleaning solution each and every time (if you need greater proof that the LP is alive and well, this product, along with the $3500 Clearaudio Record cleaning machine, is it).

And speaking of fluid, I believe that the Disc Doctor’s Quick Wash fluid is, overall, the best I’ve used. I’ve always shied away from the regular Disc Doctor cleaning method, because I dislike the idea of having to rinse everything afterward with distilled water. Like I’ve said before, when I clean a record, I generally want to listen to it afterward and not have to wait for it to dry. Used in conjunction with the Disc Doctor brushes, this easily the best and most effective fluid I’ve used. Record Research Labs #9 record cleaner seems to lack a proper wetting agent, and therefore beads up and really doesn’t seem to get into the grooves. Conversely, Torumat seems to contain some sort of lubricant that seems to leave a residue behind. To paraphrase a certain blonde, Quick Wash is just right.

Between a clamp and a hard place.

So where does that leave me and my Michell Orbe? Sure, it makes me think about much simpler days, with Regas and their felt mats. And I can picture all the hardcore Linnies and their LP12s, chanting that see, they were right all along. But when I listen to LPs on the Michell, with its glorious, detailed, relaxed presentation, I find it hard to fret about surface noise. One of the wonderful yet enigmatic facets of analog playback is that the finer turntables in the world do relegate surface noise further into the background, where it isn’t as obtrusive. Some of the objectivists I’ve talked to question this, that a fine turntable should actually do the opposite if it’s supposed to faithful to whatever is in the groove. I’ve had many theoretical discussions as to why this is, and I’ve heard a lot of interesting theories, but I still think it’s a miracle that it works out this way.

And this all goes back to buying a decent turntable, the other tenet I strongly believe in when it comes to analog playback. Maybe a good turntable, with a properly aligned cartridge, and an undamaged stylus, is the best defense against the onslaught of surface noise.

I have to admit, somewhat sheepishly, that there are times when I really get sloppy when it comes to cleaning my LPs. Sometimes I just want to throw things on the platter in rapid succession without all the goofy rituals. Sometimes I wonder if I’m causing irreparable damage to my irreplaceable collection. Sometimes I just don’t care, because it’s all about enjoying the music, and not stressing out about such things. Either way, I’ve been very lucky to have the collection of records that I do, and when it all comes down to it, I’m not sure what I’m doing right. Judging from the condition of some of my recent e-Bay purchases, not everyone else is this lucky.

Needless to say, I’m going to keep going with what I’m doing. There’s no reason to get that VPI 16.5. I actually came this close last year to splurging and buying one of those fascinating Loricraft record cleaning machines, because I am the Vinyl Anachronist, and I should be setting an example. But all in all, my vintage 1985 Nitty Gritty 2.0 is good enough for me. The Disc Doctor brushes and Quick Wash fluid are also good enough. And whatever you’re doing is probably good enough, too.

Marc Phillips has been writing about hi-fi and music under the Vinyl Anachronist banner since 1998. His earlier columns can be found on the Perfect Sound Forever website. You can discuss vinyl with Marc at Vinylanach@aol.com